at this very moment, i am in a state of indescribable, curious peace, whose origin is debatable. i cannot explain how i feel except with the word, “ethereal”. and yes. i know this seems to happen to me a lot.
my best guess is that this peace results from the current state of my immediate environment, and the immediate circumstances of the day. it is sunny out, with intermittent clouds. how wonderful is that? moreover, it is nearly 40 degrees outside and the wind is barely strong enough to generate a light breeze. because of these meteorological conditions, i have decided to open the windows—and to keep them open.
as the cool, fresh air pours into my apartment, the thick, stale air of a winter passed is forced out—and it certainly is welcome to. as the cool, fresh air pours into my apartment, the particular scent that is the city of albany fills my nostrils for an extended period of time for the first time since the winter chill forced me almost permanently indoors for the season. i detest being stripped of the freedom of being able to go outdoors and take a walk, sit out in the sun and read—to enjoy that fresh air.
it is with a heavy heart that i accept the coming of the winter each year, for i suffer tremendously from seasonal depression. the sun bids us good night before the working day even ends. the air is chilled so low that everything organic seems to slow to a molecular halt. it is all so disheartening.
but now, with daylight savings a mere three weeks away—and the spring equinox only a week beyond that—the sun stays up later, providing that skin- and sprit-warming light. and it is of a survivable temperature outdoors.
keeping in mind the beginning of the transition between winter and spring, i think it is the feeling of the breeze through my windows, the sound of the outdoors flooding my ears—the smell of the fresh air—that has got my brain all abuzz. abuzz with the knowledge that warmer air and longer days are upon me. abuzz because this scent that my brain is encountering for the first time in a long time has it delving into and swimming through all of the good memories that this air reminds it of—be they of springtime or not.
this has no witty conclusion. there was no wit in this post. i was merely motivated after months of perpetual silence to deduce in typed words why i was feeling how i was—and i felt like sharing it—why not?
and i have come to that conclusion now.
and i am happy.